For The Newly Diagnosed: How To Not Be Ashamed Of Your Insulin Pump

After an endless week of learning about diabetes and how to keep my blood sugars in control, I was finally allowed to have a full day with my family to try out my new lifestyle. It was a Friday and my mom asked me if I wanted to go to school. My answer was no, I didn’t want to go back because I felt as though I had been out forever and mostly, because I was embarrassed. I didn’t want to be different than everyone else in the class, I was terrified of everyone treating me differently. I was scared of no longer being normal.

This is a normal feeling. I think that everyone goes through moments with diabetes where they have never felt more embarrassment in their life. But, as the days go on and slowly you realize that you are never going to be “normal” and that the more that you try and act “normal” the harder the more miserable you will be.

So, for the diabetics reading this I can tell you an embarrassing story of mine. I was walking into the hospital for the last time I would never have to give myself an insulin shot when I ate food. My mom was obviously upset during this time, and I was a confused 9 year old. I asked my mother why we were walking into the hospital in which she replied, “You’re going to be like Nick Jonas.”
I then said “I’m going to have rabies?” I paused cause I was confused and then with ease added “Oh I’m going to have diabetes” with as much casualty as I could possibly muster.

When that time for the insulin pump came around, I wanted to hide it. You can hide diabetes when you are giving yourself shots and using insulin pens, but you can’t when you have a pager looking thing attached to your hip 24/7. I would try to hide it as much as I could. I wouldn’t clip my pump to the outside of my jeans, and I would clip it on the inside of my jeans so it was less visible. My shirts became longer because I wanted to avoid people seeing my pancreas.

Eventually I began clipping my pump on the outside, I began to wear it on my sleeve (metaphorically). I began to embrace my differences, I use my diabetes to my advantage. I began to turn my “disease” into a strength and using my differences as a strength. It is hard and it is long but eventually you will learn to embrace what makes you, you.IMG_7976
1151006_4549444193278_1452395173_nIMG_2642-0IMG_7068-0

Posted by

A Type 1 Diabetic teen that was introduced into the world of diabetes on November 11th, 2008. I continue to walk through the path of life even in this carbohydrate infected world.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s